The sea has plenty of waves and "wipes". Maybe this is because sailors preferred to tell the disasters they experienced in a humorous way rather than dramatizing them. In other words, everyone is a little bit in the mood of fooling. Now we do the same and share the second part of the sea and sailor jokes we compiled from around the world.

 

On a luxury cruise ship, a very worried female passenger asked the captain, "Excuse me, captain, do ships of this size sink often?". The captain replies: "No, madam, just once!"

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The sailor who has had a terrible race and caused the sailing team to lose the race just because of him goes to the team captain. "I'm sorry, captain! "I've never raced this badly before," he says. "Is that so?" says the captain, "So you've raced before?"

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- The sailing club is looking for someone to manage its finances, is that true?

- Yes, they are looking for.

- They got one just last week, didn't they?

- Yes, they are already looking for him.

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Two old friends went fishing by boat. The weather was pretty bad too. When the boat suddenly totters, one of them suddenly moved forward and his false teeth flew out of his mouth and fell into the sea. The other one, as a joke, put his own false teeth on a fishing rod and pretended as if he got his. "Behold, I caught your false teeth. Something like this happens once in a million," he said. The man thanked him, but of course the teeth did not fit into his mouth. Then he said, "These are not mine!" and threw the teeth into the water.

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The president of the sailing club was also the funeral undertaker of the town.  On the day he retired from the club, a dinner was organized in his honor. Toasts were proposed and the president began to speak. First, he sincerely wished all members a long life. However, he reminded that death is God's command and stated that when death comes knocking at the door, he will hold the funerals of all the members of the club for free, as a thanking for the happy moments he spent there. At that moment, an explosion was heard. The Scotsman sitting at the head of the table had shot himself.

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- What did the captain say about the ship sinking?

- Swearing included or excluded, you ask?

- Excluded.

- Well, he didn't say a single word.

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There was a sign hanging in the admiral's office at the top of the navy:

RULES

RULE #1: THE ADMIRAL IS ALWAYS RIGHT

RULE #2: IF THE ADMIRAL IS MISTAKEN, THE FIRST RULE IS APPLIED.

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A yacht, which was caught in a 40-knot storm, made an emergency call for help on the radio. The coast guard asked to understand the exact location of the boat: "Give location information, over!" A reply came from the boat: "I am a sales director in a textile company, over!"

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- Mom, can I go swimming with my dad today?

- No honey, the weather is too bad.

- But my father is going.

- Yes, but he has life insurance.

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An amateur sailor was drowning his sorrows at the bar of the yacht club. He turned to his friend next to him and said, "Do you know what the captain said to me today? He was all like: «You're unhandy and clumsy! A disgrace to the crew!»". "If I were in our place, I wouldn't take him seriously at all" said the man next to him and added, "First of all, that man doesn't have his own opinion on anything. He just keeps repeating what everyone says.".

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An American sailor returned from a Far East expedition. A few months after his return, he received a letter from his girlfriend in Japan. The letter read: "Dear Jack, my darling, it's been six months since you've been gone, and the one in my belly is also six months old. What should I do now? Should I give birth to you a Harry? Or should I commit harakiri?"

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A German, an American and a British admiral met at an important NATO exercise. During the conversation, the German admiral said, "German soldiers are the bravest sailors in the world. Now I will prove it to you." and called out to a German sailor: "Schiller! Now I order you to jump into the water, take a tour around the ship, and then come here and report to me." The private sailor came a short time later, with water dripping from his uniform, and reported to the admiral. "That's courage," said the German admiral.

 

In response, the American admiral called one of the American sailors: "Kowalski! I order you to climb to the top of that mast, jump into the water from there, tour around the ship three times, and then come here and report to me.". "Yes, sir!" said Kowalski. He immediately climbed to the top of the mast, jumped into the water from there, and came back ten minutes later, soaking wet, and reported to the admiral: "Mission completed, sir!". "That's courage!" said the American admiral.

 

"Then, the British admiral called one of his sailors: "Hopkins! I order you to climb to the top of that mast, jump into the water with a backstroke, tour around the ship twenty times, and come back and report to me.". The sailor looked at the admiral and said, "Give me a break" he said, "you've gone completely crazy!" Thereupon, the British admiral turned to those around him and said: "Well, that is courage, gentlemen!".

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One winter day, when there was no navigation, the sailor was sailing in very bad weather and was having difficulty taking a bearing. Meanwhile, the weather became darker and more frightening, and his radar also broke down. Suddenly he saw a fishing boat and came closer and shouted out: "I'm going to Marmaris. Am I on the right route?"  "I don't know," replied the captain of the fishing boat. "So, which way is Fethiye?" asked the sailor. "I don't know," replied the captain. Getting angry, the sailor scolded the captain: "Do you ever know anything?" The captain replies: "Yes, I do. I'm pretty sure that I'm not lost."

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A man was invited to a very rich person's 60-foot yacht. After a while the boat owner's little son was playing on the deck, he slipped and fell into the sea. Our man immediately jumped into the water. After struggling with the waves for a long time, he came back with the child in his arms. The millionaire was grateful to the man and said, "Make your wish, anything!". "I wish only one thing from you," said the man, "the name of the scum that pushed me into the sea!".